There are three reasons I decided to post this, first and foremost, regret.
There are many things I have come to regret over my life.
I regret spying on Merk in the first grade and I regret not accepting Merk’s forgiveness the day she finally offered it. I regret my fashion statement on skating day. I regret joining in a chorus of Samuel on the day Maltby hit the stop sign. I regret that there was no internet back in the day and no Facebook so that I could contact Neve and deal with things before all this time had past. I also regret Maltby was not there with me at Larry’s house the day we worked on that project. That scene really would have been better with popcorn.
Those regrets are minor, though, compared to the regrets I have concerning Neve Campbell.
I truly regret that at the same time a nine-year-old girl spent the dying days of grade 4 pouring her soul out to me in an effort to show me how much I meant to her, I put just as much effort into running away and hiding from her the fact that she was killing me inside. It may not have changed anything, but Neve I feel you deserved to know just how much I cared about you back then.
However, there is nothing I regret more in this life than not visiting a friend in the hospital when I was asked to. I have regretted that since the day after it happened and it is something that I will never forget either.
Every time I meet up with friends at the bar, or go to a barbeque or go anywhere that people are drinking someone always takes notice and asks the same question, “Why don’t you drink?” Every time someone asks, I give the same answer, “Personal choice.” But in the back of my mind I relive what I did and I seem destined to relive that one for the rest of my life.
It would have been nice to bump into her one day, so I could get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness on account of that. Now that I know what a charmed life she is living, I can put the hope of that ever happening out of my mind.
I am so very sorry.
In spite of all my regrets, let me say this. If I live to the ripe old age of a billion and a half, I will never regret my decision not to join her ballet school. Every interview I’ve seen her in where she talks about her many injuries and the back stabbing culture that exists in the world of dance, it only reinforces the fact that I made the right choice. I do, however, wish I had a crystal ball back then so I could have shown her the future that lay ahead. I loved that girl, and although she hurt me, I would never have wanted her to endure the pain she brought upon herself.
There are many things I have come to regret over my life.
I regret spying on Merk in the first grade and I regret not accepting Merk’s forgiveness the day she finally offered it. I regret my fashion statement on skating day. I regret joining in a chorus of Samuel on the day Maltby hit the stop sign. I regret that there was no internet back in the day and no Facebook so that I could contact Neve and deal with things before all this time had past. I also regret Maltby was not there with me at Larry’s house the day we worked on that project. That scene really would have been better with popcorn.
Those regrets are minor, though, compared to the regrets I have concerning Neve Campbell.
I truly regret that at the same time a nine-year-old girl spent the dying days of grade 4 pouring her soul out to me in an effort to show me how much I meant to her, I put just as much effort into running away and hiding from her the fact that she was killing me inside. It may not have changed anything, but Neve I feel you deserved to know just how much I cared about you back then.
However, there is nothing I regret more in this life than not visiting a friend in the hospital when I was asked to. I have regretted that since the day after it happened and it is something that I will never forget either.
Every time I meet up with friends at the bar, or go to a barbeque or go anywhere that people are drinking someone always takes notice and asks the same question, “Why don’t you drink?” Every time someone asks, I give the same answer, “Personal choice.” But in the back of my mind I relive what I did and I seem destined to relive that one for the rest of my life.
It would have been nice to bump into her one day, so I could get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness on account of that. Now that I know what a charmed life she is living, I can put the hope of that ever happening out of my mind.
I am so very sorry.
In spite of all my regrets, let me say this. If I live to the ripe old age of a billion and a half, I will never regret my decision not to join her ballet school. Every interview I’ve seen her in where she talks about her many injuries and the back stabbing culture that exists in the world of dance, it only reinforces the fact that I made the right choice. I do, however, wish I had a crystal ball back then so I could have shown her the future that lay ahead. I loved that girl, and although she hurt me, I would never have wanted her to endure the pain she brought upon herself.
